My heart aches at the news of what terrible thing has happened to a 15 year old girl and the community of Richmond, California last week.  A brutal, savage sexual attack took place on prom night right there behind the school as the dance took place.  All of this happened under the gazing eyes of 10-2- people doing nothing to stop this brutal assault.

It is in moments like this that I have to fight for my faith in an all-loving God.  I must exercise a critical discipline in order to remain a follower of Jesus the Christ.  It conjures up the arguments against a living God, as this kind of violence enters the public consciousness.

I mourn for the loss that this beautifully made child of God has endured.  I pray for her and her family to recover from this horrific action.  I mourn for the community and the pain it must endure and pray that leaders may emerge to channel a healing spirit into the hearts of this mourning community.

As the anger subsides and is replaced with disgust, remorse, and wonder, my mourning is replaced with thoughts of “Why?” and “How?”.  How could this happen to any young girl?  How could this be an option for these young men?  Why this community and these individuals?  Why now?  Why ever?

I am no fan of the blame game.  This tragedy is not the sole responsibility of any one party.  This tragic event was perpetrated directly by a few individuals.  We as a culture, a society did not perpetrate this despicable crime.  We are however responsible for the climate and conditions to which this crime was perpetrated.

Richmond, California could be any other community in this nation with a rather diverse population struggling in the wake of the economic meltdown.  Richmond has a minority population of Hispanic [26%], Anglo [21%], and Asian [12%] with a majority African-American [36%] population.  The city has struggled with education.  The graduation rate of the students from Richmond High School is lower than the national average.  With very few students continuing their education on to college or university.

The youth of Richmond have a greater chance to go to prison than they do to go on to higher education.  The crime rates have risen and continue to rise due to unemployment and underemployment.  Poverty and hopelessness are of greater abundance in a large portion of the population than is a sense of any viable future.

This unfortunate and senseless crime that happened on prom night in Richmond, California could have happened anywhere in this nation.  We have failed our youth, our future.  We are called to be good stewards of this beautiful and wonderfully made creation around us.  We have been called to raise up Godly children.  Yet we remain uninvolved in the raising of these generations.  We do not get involved because it is not our responsibility.  Sisters and brothers, those that witnessed this tragic crime also did not get involved.  They stood by and watched this tragedy unfold.

This behavior of non-involvement has been passed on to this generation.  We have modeled this behavior of not taking responsibility for each other and tending to the family of God.  We proclaim the family of God and isolate ourselves from the very responsibility to which God calls us too.  This is something we have been wrestling to answer for years and having varying levels of success in breaking free from and settling in to our sleep.

I am not saying anyone is particularly responsible for this.  I am saying that we are all a part of the problem.  In our honest and eager hopes to be beacons of light we have collectively failed those who have followed us into this world.  We as a nation.  We as a people.  We as a community.  We as a family.  We have fallen short of the glory of God.

Leaders, agents of change, and mystic activists are not born; they are forged by circumstance and emerge when the injustice of the world around them can no longer be tolerated and something must be done.  Can we look outside of our window and conclude that all is well with this world?  Can we ignore the cries of the innocent begging for relief or death?  What does the hurt of this world, the injustice resting upon the backs of the marginalized do to your heart?  There comes a time when we must stand up and say, “This is over. There shall be no more injustice, no more exploitation.  I will no longer ignore.  I will no longer stand by as the Other is exploited or forgotten.  I will speak for those that have no voice.  I will offer my hands, my feet, my heart to those that have lost the will to care, to act, to be.  I will do as Jesus the Christ has done and empty myself for those in the margins.  I will answer the call, Lord. Here I am.”

When enough “I” stand up, speak out, band together, enter the margins there is a “We” that forms.  Do we have any leaders, agents of change, or mystic activists out there that feel the call today?  When shall our “I” emerge to be a “We” to the margins?  I pray that “We” may not be silent.  That “We” may stand up.  That “We” sell all and follow in ways that radically transform this city, this nation, this world.  I pray that “We” shall not ignore the mourning heart of those that have followed us into existence.

LORD, hear our prayer…

This story from Moth reminds me of why I love God and why I have hope for the church that emerges from people like this fella.

I offer that Ari encounters the same heart breaking sorrow upon witnessing the brokenness of the wild inside of Santiago that God encounters upon our departure from paradise and entering in to the sin of toil.

As we seek to be people of reconciliation and filters of grace and holders of hope we must witness this world and all of its brokenness with eyes tending to the wild inside and world to preserve that wild side that is deeply connected with God and severed from the toiling sin of production and consumption.

Here is the resources list from the workshop “Engaging Young Adults Through Mission.”

Books

Bosch, David.  Transforming Mission: Paradigm Shifts in Theology of Mission

Claiborne, Shane.  The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical

Guder, Darrell.  Missional Church: A Vision for the Sending of the Church in North America

Hesse, Herman.  Siddartha

Merritt, Carol Howard.  Tribal Church: Ministering to the Missing Generation

Moore, Christopher.  Lamb

Niffenegger, Audrey.  The Time Traveler’s Wife

Tickle, Phyllis.  The Great Emergence: How Christianity is Changing and Why

McClaren, Brian.  Everything Must Change

Websites

I am not sure where to begin with this film. I get all apeshit over roller derby. I remember the first time I was exposed to roller derby outside of my youthful memories of the Los Angeles T-Birds and everyone’s favorite puggy little Mexican, Ralphie Valladares!  It was during my last stint at Cal State Northridge and I was taking a cultural history class with a prof. named “Flannery”.  She was cool as hell.  She grew up in Austin and when I showed interest in Burlesque she challenged me to find the similarities between burlesque and the emerging world of women’s roller derby.

She pointed me towards the likes of the Texas Rollergirls and their brand of flat track awesome!  I soon discovered a deep love for the sport.  Similarly Bliss discovers roller derby on a shopping spree with her mother in Gods favorite city, Austin.  Bliss is drawn to these wheeled valkyries sporting ink and a strength she hungers for.

In a scene where Bliss attends her first match she is captivated by the magic that circles the track and works up and down on the banked walls.  Bliss approaches Maggie Mayhem and tells her that the rollergirls are her new heroes!  Maggie replies, “Why don’t you come to try outs and become your own hero?”  Thus begins the beautiful move towards Bliss’ self-discovery.

Bliss is in a place in her life where she struggles to establish her place in the world, free from the preying eyes of her mother, Brooke.  Brooke got knocked up at a young age and is trying to instill in her daughter a spirit of demure and class that she hopes will prevent her daughter from going down the road she has traveled.

This is a story of redemption, discovery, & hope.  This movie is full of powerful women riding 8 wheels to glory!  The men in the film seem broken and take a backseat to the powerful women in the story.

This is no movie about roller derby. This is a film about relationships, coming of age, and passion.  It is a film that I hope will empower many little girls to go out and join the ranks of these “HEROES”  and fight for their place in the hallowed banked walls of roller derby.

Drew Barrymore directs this film with the vigor of Sofia Coppola.  Barrymore’s scenes are full of life and beautifully and masterfully shot. She fills the story with plain, simple pictures into a complex world that does not really understand the explosive power held in roller derby.

The real life Maggie Mayhem, Shauna Cross, is the screenwriter and she gave Q. Tarantino a run for his money.  Her dialogue is magnificent.  It flows beautifully between charming to dangerous to breathtaking to victorious.  I hope we get more from Shauna!

I implore you to grab your skates and roll on over to the nearest theater to see this culture shaping film.  I also encourage you to support your local roller derby! Check out the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association for your nearest team!!!

John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.”  But Jesus said, “Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me.  Whoever is not against us is for us.  For truly I tell you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of Christ will by no means lose the reward.  “If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea.  If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life maimed than to have two hands and to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire.  And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life lame than to have two feet and to be thrown into hell.  And if your eye causes you to stumble, tear it out; it is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and to be thrown into hell, where their worm never dies, and the fire is never quenched.  “For everyone will be salted with fire.  Salt is good; but if salt has lost its saltiness, how can you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.”  Mark 9:38-50

One of my favorite books growing up was The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton.  I first read the book in middle school.  It opened my eyes to the divided world around me.  In the book there are two factions fighting each other.

You had the Socs and the Greasers.  The Socs were rich & affluent where the Greasers were poor & struggled to survive.  The Socs had new cars while the Greasers had to push start their broken down jalopies.  The Socs were stars of the gridiron and classroom where the Greasers hung out fixed cars and hoped to pick up a trade.  The Socs and Greasers seem to be polar opposites.

When I think about The Outsiders I mostly conjure up scenes from the 1983 movie.  It stared a who’s who of young Hollywood at the time.  With Tom Cruise, Matt Dillion, Rob Lowe, Ralph Macchio, Diane Lane, & Patrick Swayze.  It is images of these actors that fill my mind as I think about my youth and the Socs & Greasers that define my life.

It reminds me of the world I grew up in.  It reminds me of my Los Angeles that danced between affluence and poverty.  I imagine myself alongside Ponyboy, Darry, & Soda Pop as they rumble with the Socs.

I ordered my life with my understanding of “us” & “them”.  I organized everyone I meet, all my relationships conveniently fit within “insider” & “outsider.”

This was the sin of my youth; on the surface “The Outsiders” is a tale of “us” & “them” a snapshot of teenage angst.  A contemporary moral treatment of the “golden rule.”  There is similar caution to engage as we look at this passage from the Gospel of Mark.

Our Gospel reading from Mark is also a tale of “us” & “them” when we look at the surface.  You have your Greasers and Socs.  There are insiders & outsiders.  More division.  More exclusivity.

Jesus wants nothing to do with that insider/outsider stuff. Jesus is not trying to uphold any power structure.  In fact, Jesus is trying to tear down the walls.  Jesus seeks to bring about the destruction of any & all institution.  Jesus is calling us to a radical relationship that will transform all participants.

It is here that I fear we lose sight of what it is Jesus is really calling us to.  I know I am fine with a radical call to relationship.  I get all excited about the thought of living my life in ways that challenge the status quo.  I get all wide eyed as I imagine what this radical call will look like when God calls me to it.  Then reality sets in and I start pointing fingers or making up excuses…it is a daunting task to answer that radical call on our lives, to that radical relationship that transforms.  Transformation hurts and it is not easy.  Well, have you ever tried to transform a dirty cat into a clean cat?  It is sort of the same thing, but on a larger, systematic level…Jesus is all about transformation.

The funny thing about transformation is that it is almost always happens right before our eyes and we are usually unaware of it.  Transformation is not by us as much as it happens to us.  You see transformation is full of nuances…

We see this played out in the Gospel of Mark.  In the beginning of the 9^th chapter of Mark, we see Jesus transfigured on the high mount as Peter, James, & John watch.  Jesus then rebukes an unclean spirit within a boy whose father hungers for relief of his “unbelief.”

Then in today’s gospel reading John, that very same John that witnessed the transfiguration of Jesus points out to Jesus. “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.” I imagine Jesus turns to John and smiles, knowing that John missed the boat again.

Jesus offers, “Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me.  Whoever is not against us is for us.” I think it is very important that we stop here and smell the roses.  “Whoever is not against us is for us.” Notice Jesus does not say, “If you are not with us you are against us.”  It is this nuance that calls us to the Kingdom of God.  It is this nuance where transformation dwells.

When we pause too smell the beautiful aroma that emanates from verse 40 we capture the beauty of the complex nature of the relationship that we are all being called to. “Whoever is not against us is for us.” In this statement there is an allowance for the diversity of “being” in relationship.  With this statement Jesus paints a dynamic structure in which “being” is not determined by the profane nature of humanity.  Rather in this vision “being” is all about ones connection to the divine.  Transformation takes place as we dwell with each other in that diversity of “being.”

More often than not we focus upon the criteria that we perceive makes us “insider” or “outsider”.  “Christian” or “not Christian”.  We spend our energies on making sure that we fit in to the boxes we hold as much as the world around us fit into those neat little boxes.  We eagerly wait to check our box so we may move forward with the real work of faith.  I am a sucker for a good survey.

We like to skip the dynamic structure Jesus offers in transformation for all and focus upon the “IF” statements of verses 42-50.  We love the concert nature of “IF” this than “THAT”.  We are more willing to maim each other and ourselves than to sit in the dynamic mystery of the divine.  The problem is that it is not very fruitful to look at verses 42-50 without first understanding the power of verses 39-40.  To focus on the “IF” statements of theses verses erodes the relationship Jesus is calling us to in “Whoever is not against us is for us.” To focus on the “IFs” denies the complexity of the relationship that we all are being called to and upholds the status quo.  Remember Jesus has come to destroy the status quo.  Jesus is trying to tear down the walls.  Jesus seeks to bring about the destruction of any & all institution.  Jesus is calling us to a radical relationship that will transform all participants.  There is no “IF” in that at all.

This past week I attended a conference for Pride Week at the University of Louisville.  The conference engaged the question, “What makes a man/woman a man/woman?”  If was interesting.  It challenged all sorts of preconceived notions I hold.  It exposed another set of “Ifs” for me.  As I questioned what constitutes masculinity and femininity for me I could not help to think about the notions I also hold for who I believe to be Christian or not.

I would contend the exclusive grace delivered by many a messenger in Gods name are most certainly not welcome in my version of heaven.  I would have no room for the homophobic rants of the moral majority that nest over there off of Lexington Road.  I could not share eternity with anyone that supports the exploitation of the poor and marginalized in the name of progress and the American dream.  It is a good thing that I am not in charge of the gate.  It is not our concern to even consider who is in or who is out.  It is not our place to ask, “What makes a Christian?”

We are fine with the radical call to relationship.  We get excited about the thought of living our lives in ways that challenge the status quo.  We get wide eyed as we imagine what this radical call will look like when God calls us to it.  Then reality sets in and we start pointing fingers or making up excuses…it is a daunting task to answer that radical call on our lives, to that radical relationship that transforms.  Transformation hurts and it is not easy.  Transformation happens right before our eyes and we are usually unaware of it.  Transformation is not by us as much as it happens to us.  Transformation is full of nuances…

In these divine nuances gone are the Greasers & Socs’.  Gone are the “us” & “them”.  Gone are the Jew & Greek.  Gone are the “Male” & “Female”. Gone are the slave & free.  Gone are the “Straight” & Gay”.  Gone are the insider & outsider.  Gone are all the boxes to check.  What is left is a radical relationship that has transformed all participants.  The walls of human division are gone.  The institutions we cater to are destroyed.  The only thing left standing is that which Jesus the Christ has pain stakingly crafted with wounded hands, a sacred heart, & the old tired wood of the cross.

I am saddened this week that Patrick Swayze has lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. Growing up I admired this man.  I loved watching his films.  The first time I saw him was in the film “Uncommon Valor” during my Vietnam War obsession.  Then there was “The Outsiders”, “Dirty Dancing”, “Ghost”, “Roadhouse”, “Point Break”, “Red Dawn” & the unforgettable moment he & Chris Farley auditioned to be Chippendales dancers on SNL.  Patrick Swayze shaped my worldview in profound ways.  I determined what “being a man” was upon the roles Patrick Swayze played.

I was also informed and shaped by the films of John Hughes.  Who did not have a crush on “Sam” Baker?  Who did not dream of being John Bender?  Who did not admire “Duckie” Dale and loath Steff McKee?  What teen was worth their salt that did not yearn for the freedom of Ferris Bueller or the creative genius of Gary & Wyatt?  I mourn the loss of John Hughes in ways I struggle to understand.

Michael Jackson’s death also weighs heavy on my heart.  MJ needs no introduction.  I owned “Off the Wall”, “Thriller”, & “Bad.”  I weathered the storms of questionable actions perpetrated by MJ.  I wondered what pain lie at the heart of this man.  I loved his music.  I am a bigger fan of “little Michael” & the “Jackson 5” than I am of MJ’s latest music.  I rock all of the MJ hits nonetheless.

It is mighty powerful for me to lose these three iconic parts of my youth so near to each other.  It is a reminder of the mortality that courses through my veins.  It is that 3:00 a.m. wake up call informing me that I will to come to pass.  I witness the death of my childhood in these there men.  I can no longer witness the collective glory we shared.  I am relegated to reminiscing on the good old days.

I imagine we all go through cycles similar to this.  When our heroes die we are left with fading memories of the people, places, and events that make up the life that seems to motor on by as if it were a new BMW on the autobahn.  I mourn that loss.

It began with the guys getting drafted into professional sports.  They were no longer older than me.  I had no hope of playing professional sports.  These guys increasingly grew younger and I grew older.  The flexibility I enjoyed in my “playing” days waned and was replaced with hard fought wisdom born of failed relationships and monumental mistakes that one pays for not in money but in worry.

My physical self declined rapidly. Until that day I looked into the mirror to find an overweight, balding, no-longer 18 almost middle aged young man.  The emphasis upon the young man bit.  I stared into fading photographs to see a child with taught arms and waist smiling without a real understanding of the potential he held in those powerful arms.  Reminiscing today in the death of Patrick I wipe a little tear from my eyes…

The greatest thing I have received as deposit of my youth is the hunger, desire, & compulsion for faith.  I could not have witnessed God in the ways I do now as that boy being fashioned by cries of “Wolverines!”  I understand the soft wisdom my father passed on to me in a manner I determined to be intrusive and annoying way back then.

I write this as a reflection of what it must be like for Jesus the Christ to bear witness to the death of so many beautiful stories and connections.  Each one of us holds a Patrick, a John, or a Michael in our hearts.  We watch those folks fade as we too fade in to memories.  That 3:00 a.m. panic or worry does nothing productive in your life.  We wrestle with God and don’t let go until we are blessed.  We hold on to the youth we have because we fear that when they are gone we are not too far behind.  For me I find peace in the idea that Jesus is right there with us morning all loss that strips away those precious memories.  I still wish I could return for just a day to those rambunctious days filled with limber horseplay as we pretended to be a solider somewhere doing something heroic with my siblings.  I had so many dreams and hopes.  They were replaced with reality and by the grace of God filtered through hope because “Nobody puts Babe in a corner!”

This is one of the many reasons I love twitter. This conversation I was having with my favorite pastorofdisaster, Brian Merritt.

rk_p: Cynicism & passion are two sides of the same coin. One rooted in hurt, the other rooted in love. The Christ resides between, connecting.

Brianmerritt: So is all passion good?

rk_p: first thought is passion is neither good or bad. Passion is imbued with the intent of the holder of said passion.

brianmerritt: So do you think cynicism is always bad?

rk_p: I think cynicism is passion [formed] from hurt. This hurt can be many things. I do think Jesus loved creation as a cynic. I think that because Jesus loved creation as a cynic it was possible for creation to be reconciled. There is reconciliation, when cynicism is nurtured towards passion, through loving the hurt in others. That is what Jesus the Christ did.

November 02, 2008 I held a wake to celebrate the death and resurrection of Presbyterian Ryan.  I was baptized a Presbyterian on November 02, 1975.  I was in my Jesus year and decided to leave the PCUSA.  It was not an easy decision for me to leave the denomination.  I prayed and discerned that I would not leave.  I held on to my affiliation and hope as long as I could.  I decided that I could not longer stick around hoping that it would change.

My call is to ministry and not to take a beating and prove that I am really called to serve this world as a minister of word and sacrament.  It was a deep blow to me that I still hurt from today.  I felt rejected and scorned.  I felt like a jilted over watching their betrothed dance the night away with another.  I mourned for sometime.

My move to the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) has been a quick and painful lesson.  I looked at and considered the DOC long ago.  I just never thought that I would not actually ever become a member of the denomination.  On September 14 Douglass Blvd Christian Church voted and unanimously called me to be their associate minister.  There I was wanted and affirmed by an ecclesial community.  Someone wanted to dance with me after all.  Gone were the “you may or may not be called” and “We just do not understand what you want to do in ministry.”  I was welcomed with open arms.

It is coming up on one year of being a DOC minister.  I enjoy learning about my new ecclesial home.  The sting of losing that ole Presby home has gone away and has been replaced with a more familiar comfortable feeling.  I begin a polity course in a week that will be my final requirement to receive national standing with the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).

I am excited and relieved.  I discover my new home to be a good fit.  I appreciate the polity more and more that I have been called to work within.  I know enough to be dangerous and am become proficient with the theological holdings of the denomination.  I took up my first ever writing this morning to another Disciple.

Here was the message from the other Disciple:

This is out of my own curiosity, but how many of us actually know what Christian apologetics is? Apologetics is the attempt to provide a rational ground for what we believe in, why we have faith in Christ as lord. Most of us cannot give an adequate defense of the bible and every single Christian should study apologetics. I challenge you to pick up an apologetics book, belief in God has a rational ground to it, not just an emotional one. Message back to me if you want any book suggestions.

Here is my response:

I encourage your eagerness to explore and strengthen your faith.  It is a hallmark of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) to adhere to a questioning faith that challenges the status quo as it seeks to develop a sense of personal discipleship.  I also would like to caution you in your challenge to this group.

I am not certain how you encountered apologetics or in what manner you have or are becoming proficient in the apologetic practice.  I wonder as to how productive a conversation would be today based in apologetics.  Sure, apologetics has secured and transformed numerous generations of faithful as it guided and moderated conversations pertaining to faith.

I am not sure that apologetics can serve the same function today as it has in the past.  The practice of apologetics is rooted in certainty and the ability to defend ones position from that certainty.  We experience a different certainty and a more complex religious landscape than in the past.

An argument based in a particular certainty must meet a particular culture in a manner that engages said culture in order to defend that certainty which was the basis of the apologetic argument if the first place.  This American religious landscape we minister with and to today are full of complex understandings of the divine.  Even within our denomination we cannot adhere to a specific understanding of faith, Jesus the Christ, or Biblical interpretation.  We as a denomination uphold a diverse and bountiful array of ways to be Disciples.  We are but one of many Christian denominations among numerous Christian movements among numerous religions practiced faithfully in the US.

How can we as finite beings offer up anything “adequate” as a defense of an omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient God?  We may speak to our experience of the divine and share with others our story and faith.  If asked to defend the Bible we fall trap to idolatry as we seek to protect a book.  The Bible is not sacred.  The relationships that the Bible calls us to and reveals to us are sacred.  If we focus upon the instruction manual without building the appliance it instructs us to build does the instruction manual hold worth or value?

“Belief of God has a rational ground to it, not just an emotional one.”  I would argue that God is beyond rational.  How can an omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient God be anything but irrational?  If we can conceive of God and define God than God is not omniscient.  If we can administer God to others than God is not omnipotent.  If God can be defined in anyway then God has limitations and God is not omnipresent.  Anything short of complete and utter mystery as our conclusion of God lends to a God that we manufacture.  God has no limits outside of the limitations God imposes upon Gods self.  That is irrational and can be gestured towards.  It cannot be exhaustively spoken of.  Not to mention belief is subjective and I dare to say that no one believes in the same exact things in the same exact manner.  It looks as if we may agree on the emotional ground of faith in God.  I will lend that to the imago dei that creation holds of God.

I know nothing of you other than this one message I received from you.  I find it important to address your challenge with another challenge.  I challenge you to explore faith in ways that you normally would not.  Experience faith.  Experience belief.  Experience diversity.  There are more than “our” way to be faithful as there is more than “our” way of thinking.  You sent a message out to almost 1,000 members of this group challenging them to pick up apologetic practices to be faithful.  How can you be faithful in ways that do not assert your ways upon this group?  How can you lead in ways that will draw others in to a faithful conversation with God and develop divine relationships between Creator & creation as it binds creature to creature?

Blessings, Rev. Ryan Kemp-Pappan

Douglass Blvd Christian Church

Louisville, Kentucky